Holding your little cuddly body in my arms as your navy-colored eyes stare up at me filled with so much love and wonder.
Your tiny mouth forms a toothless smile as you babble in a whispery voice while the dim lightning casts shadows around us.
And in that moment, I can’t recall ever loving anything as much as I love you.
-A.B.
One day you’re eighteen, spending all of your time with and pouring your heart out to a guy who will never truly love you back. Your heart hurts, but you pretend to like the pain.
The next thing you know you’re twenty-four and your husband lays his head on your lap, his hand placed on your pregnant belly as he talks to the baby saying, “I love you! You have the best Mama ever.”
And you start to wonder how you got so lucky; and how you ever put up with anything less before you met him.
– A.B.
How has technology changed your job?
Technology plays a surprisingly large role in my job as a community college writing tutor. For one, all appointments by students are scheduled online. And I rely heavily on an email system to keep in contact with my coworkers and superiors.
I also tutor virtually one day a week, which would be impossible to do without technology and the internet. I use a laptop every single day that I work.
Internet, electronic devices, and technology as a whole are truly a main aspect of my job and it would be very difficult, though not impossible, to do it without those things in this day and age.
– A.B.
What is one thing you would change about yourself?
If there was a way to magically change something about myself, I would make it to where I have more patience. One of the things about myself that tends to frustrate me is my lack of patience.
I think if actually changing any one thing were possible, choosing something physical would not be the wise decision for me personally. Appearances and aesthetics only get you so far, therefore character traits are far more important.
I think for the upcoming new year, I’d like to challenge myself to be more patient and work on correcting that small thing about myself that is in my power to change.
What is your achievable resolution for the upcoming new year?
– A.B.
Lately, I’ve come to realize that I’m a perfectionist and that my anxiety and stress don’t react well when things don’t go the way I plan. My mental health, and more recently my physical health as well, suffer when I try to make things perfect in this imperfect world.
The holidays especially add extra stress to my life and lead me to become overwhelmed easier. The time I’m supposed to enjoy with family turns into me having a panic attack by the end of thanksgiving day. It can be extremely frustrating wanting to have a magic cure for your own brain; especially since such a thing doesn’t exist.
As much as my mental health struggles during seasonal changes, I’m trying my best moving forward to let things happen as they will and to let go of control and admit when I need help. I aim to be better at taking time for self-care and to be kinder to myself. I’ve come to realize that often times I’m my own worst enemy as my mind races and tries to make me strive for the impossible: perfection.
Although this season of life has been frustrating, I take comfort in knowing that there are other people out there who can relate to this. Whether is the mental health aspect, or just feeling grief around the holidays because of love ones who have passed on. Just remember, you can’t have joy without a little sadness to balance it out. It, too, will pass.
– A.B.
What is good about having a pet?
Although having a pet can be a big, and often messy responsibility, I believe the pros outweigh the cons. Truthfully, I have a hard time thinking of what would be bad about having a pet.
Having a pet, such as a dog or cat, is like having a friend in your home wherever you go. They’re loyal and affectionate and help to cure feelings of loneliness or isolation. They can also be incredibly funny; making weird faces or noises and letting their personality shine through.
Lizards, fish, and other less fuzzy creatures are also great choices for pets that bring joy to their owners. Many of these animals are incredibly intelligent and affectionate to the humans they bond with.
Back to my favorite (dogs) though, they’re great at keeping you warm, which is good if you’re someone like me who is perpetually cold. Specifically having a dog as pet means you have a free security system and guaranteed loyalty.
I believe that pets are one of the greatest joys in life. They’re proof that individuals of different species that don’t speak the same language can still form beneficial relationships and consider each other family.
– A.B.
October is beginning to meld into November as this year draws to a close. I know for me personally, 2023 didn’t look anything like I hoped it would.
Death, broken relationships, the negative state of the world, it all feels extremely heavy and overwhelming. But most years, or even days, don’t ever turn out how we think they should, right?
Cycles of life are tough, but we’ve survived all the ones we thought we couldn’t. We can take joy in simple things and keep living each day to the fullest, even if the world around us crumbles. Have faith, have hope, and keep moving forward.
– A.B.
Almost exactly a year ago while on my honeymoon, my husband and I decided to check out the local legend of the Road to Nowhere.
Upon booking our trip to Bryson City, NC, I was looking into the history and sites of the area and immediately knew I wanted to check out this interesting place.
After the Fontana dam was built in the mid 1900s, residents of the Great Smoky Mountain town were told a new road would be built to fix the damage done from flooding during the dam’s construction. But the road never was finished, and the area was no longer residential and people were essentially pushed out of their homes by purchasers of the surrounding land.
It’s a six mile winding drive to reach the notorious mile long tunnel, which has since been covered in graffiti throughout the decades. It’s very eerie to walk through the whole tunnel and to the other side. There are many hiking trails and places to explore in the area, but something about the tunnel gives a spooky vibe in an otherwise peaceful location.
Visiting the Road to Nowhere was a very fun and free experience in the beautiful mountains of NC. If I ever get a chance to go back, I’d love to do some hiking on the scenic trails.
– A.B.
War and disease threatened to create an apocalypse; but the world went on.
News and propaganda spread fear to sink into the minds of millions; but the world went on.
Death, destruction, and chaos seemed to be around every turn; but the world went on.
You can apply this to every decade, era, or period of time throughout history and it still rings true – division and fear of the world ending are fueled by things that plague the human race.
But none of us know when the world will truly end. History has repeated itself time and time again.
And yet, the world goes on for another day.
– A.B.
In my mind, home is not one singular place but rather many different places or experiences.
For some it may be a hometown or a childhood house. For others, the sound of a Ford truck starting up or a local skating rink.
Home isn’t always a place. It can be a smell, like a cinnamon apple candle. Or a person, like a mother or a spouse.
I think that home is something that can only be defined by an individual. It means something different to everyone.
What is home to you?
– A.B.
A.P. Bensler Blog 